Children

My brother had a baby the other day. To be accurate; his wife had the baby, he was there for moral support and to ride the emotional rollercoaster that goes with it.

My whole family held their breath for a few days as the stories of cramps became contractions and then finally they were off to the birth centre. There was radio silence for over twelve hours (brothers can be hopeless!) Then an update that didn’t tell us anything (she’s getting closer- we’re both tired) and finally: The News.

A Beautiful baby boy. A grandson to four, nephew to 10, cousin to 6 and much loved, much anticipated son to two. It was heart-bursting news. The very best kind of news.

Whilst they settled into parenthood as a new delight-filled family, I watched on with my family from different parts of the Country. We’re all spread out you see. It’s great for coffee recommendations Australia wide but rather limiting when all you want to do is hug your nephew and be there for his parents as they begin the crazy ride that is parenting.

There is something magical in being privy to the thoughts of new Parents. The endless oscillation between adoration and panic as they stretch the bounds of their hearts beyond what they ever thought possible, despite their meticulous preparation. The heartbreaking reality that this ride will continue for the rest of their lives. It is a bold new world for them and one where the learning will never cease.

As I’ve listened to my brother and his wife over the past few days, I love hearing the support for each other as they navigate uncharted territory. My best friend’s mother once said to me with a glowing grin “it’s amazing the adventures my children have taken me on- I have travelled to three Olympics, through outback Mexico and more just to support them and I wouldn’t change a thing”. Children really are the greatest adventure, but I think more than that they are the greatest teachers.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”. I chuckled to myself as I thought of my brother and his wife with a newborn. At first I thought it might bring down their average, then I pondered all the lessons I’ve learnt from my kids.

Children, particularly young children, have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and experience. Newborns are making synaptic connections (literally growing their brains) at a ridiculous rate; 1 million neural connections per second!! Their pursuit of new experiences and the bravery with which they face them is admirable.

They are also masterful communicators. I have long joked with parents that it would be really helpful for kids to learn English before they were born, but the reality is if you pay attention they are very good at asking for (and at times demanding) what they want.

The ability to persevere at something, be it a need for comfort, tummy time, or crawling with total focus is also commendable. The number of times they will fall down on their bum before they can walk, or repeat the word “mum” when they want your attention shows a focus and determination that will not waver until the goal is achieved.

Perhaps the greatest strength I can think of, particularly in a newborn, is the innate knowing of the importance of connection. They can distinguish the sounds of different heartbeats, recognise Dad’s voice and snuggle in the most heart-bursting of ways. They curl their hands around your pinky and squirm until they find their happy place and feel comfort in your arms despite their vulnerability. This importance of connection grows as they do. My children still find comfort with me and their Dad in times of stress and I probably get as much from that process as them. 

I’m a little way into my parenting journey. I now have two of those things people tend to dread: Teenagers. I am a firm believer that at every stage our kids are equal parts horrid and delightful and we as parents get to choose the framework we view them from and the lessons we are willing to learn.

With Love,

Jo