There are some native Australian fig trees that require fig wasps for successful pollination, and conversely the wasps rely on the tree to complete their lifecycle. This relationship has evolved to the point where the tree and the wasp are completely dependent on each other. A vibrational symbiotic relationship. A love match perhaps? Is this an example of love in nature?
And what is love for us? Does it require a symbiotic exchange? If not distinct and separate to the fig wasp, what is it?
Love is not a thing. It is not tangible. It is also not a construct. Nor is it an idea or a fantasy. It can’t be measured and it’s not static or transferable. Love is simply vibrational, and as Zach Bush puts it so eloquently, “love is the experience of being witness to beauty.”
Being witness to beauty.
Having gratitude.
When I think of all the obvious times I have been witness and been present and had gratitude in my heart, it has been monumental moments such as the births of my children, the death of my sister in law. In those moments everything was all right in the world, even if it wasn’t, even if there was heartache, love was abundant and engrossing. There was no second guessing as to the experience of love – it just was. It was plainly apparent and transparent.
But being witness to beauty isn’t confined to those magnificent life events. It’s the nondescript stuff that knits itself into the fabric of our hearts; the cygnets waddling on the grass I see on my run, noticing the way my sons give attention to our dogs, the quiet moments with my husband. It’s seeing the magic and beauty in everything, everywhere. In the small things. All the time. When we are present and have gratitude we experience love. Abundantly.
As a chiropractor, my practice within the adjustment is to be present and give an act of love and service, to see the beauty in the person I have my hands on and to hold a vision of health for them, higher than they can see themselves. BJ Palmer, the developer of Chiropractic famously said “The love you give away is the love you keep”, and I think he was referring to who we need to be in service. Always with gratitude and always standing for love.
Beauty exists in difference and contrast. Nature is spectacular in this way. A giraffes’ long neck, a camels hump, the blue tongue of a lizard. Uniqueness is beauty. We should do well to remember this when we feel pressure to conform and when we feel the need to label ourselves in negative ways. The way we see ourselves then reflects how we see the world.
Imperfection is beauty.
Again, consider the life of the fig wasp. “After mating inside a fig, which contains the minute flowers, the pollen-laden female flies off to find another fig. She burrows into it with her long head and sometimes loses her wings and antennae in the process. She then attempts to lay her eggs inside the flowers and, in the process, pollinates them with pollen from the last fig she visited. The fig tree chemically detects the presence of the egg and surrounds it with plant tissue. This provides the larva, which hatches inside the fig, with enough food to grow and restart the cycle. The males spend their entire yet short lives inside the fig, where they mate with females and die soon after.” – Australian Museum.
Unlike the fig wasp we are not confined to a life of service and attachment within such a narrow framework. We have perspective and nuance and the ability to spread our wings and fly. We have the ability to see the beauty in the mundane, in nature, in ourselves and in each other. We have the ability to hold gratitude, to be present to the vibration of love, and truly marvel.
A lovely gratitude practice is at dinner time, taking it in turns to name a number of things that you are grateful for. It is a lovely way of discovering the world through others eyes and being reminded to have gratitude for the little things. It can be the smallest things that create the largest sense of gratitude and love and connection with your family because we get to be witness to the beauty in tiny detail.
With love,
Bridget
